Saturday, December 24, 2011

they were kids that i once knew

I turned sixteen a few days ago. A few days more and it will be 2012. I don't think it ever occurred to me when I was a kid that I was ever going to be sixteen and mature yet here I am, both sixteen and mature. I'd never thought that I would grow up this way. Cynic, sarcastic, judgmental.

You like Justin Bieber and One Direction? Ew.

You've never watched (500) Days of Summer? Hi, we're not friends.

You've never read Harry Potter? I don't know you.

This is me, right now. To be honest, I can't change it. I can't change the fact that I like people who don't only care how good a male singer's hair is (and let's be honest, One Direction = EW). That I appreciate taste in film (if you like Alvin and the Chipmunks and Transformers, chances are I'm already doubting our friendship). That I like readers. You don't read, I'm already thinking that you're stupid.

And I feel guilty. Because I have those people as friends. I often find myself thinking when I see their Facebook statuses or blogposts, how in the world am I even friends with them? It's like Blair and Serena in Gossip Girl. Blair is incredibly smart with actual interests while Serena's interests are flirting. But Blair has Dan who appreciates the same things that she likes. While I have no one.



No one who is willing to sit with me and talk to me about books and film and music. No one who is willing to go see a small show of a little- known band. No one who is willing to listen to that little- known musician (unless of course, they're on next month's MTV Push. Even then, the fact that I wanted anyone to listen to them is already obsolete). No one who is willing to watch a film that doesn't involve robots or famous Hollywood actors. No one who is willing to read.

While having these interests exclusive to myself, company is nice too. Someone who gets it.

Someone who tells me "Hey Eizza, have you read Langit Vanila? Here's a copy."


Someone who sends me a Jens Lekman song and goes "Heard this yet? It's so cool and thought you might like it."
Jens Lekman - An Argument with Myself by $EDPMC Vincent

Someone who asks me out to watch movies that I would never be able to watch with anyone else. Someone who says "Let's watch Melancholia."


Only that. Simple enough, no?

Current location: The Cave (like the Mumford and Sons song)
Current mood: pretty lonely
Current music: I Must Belong Somewhere- Bright Eyes

p/s Recommendation of the day would be Jens Lekman's Waiting for Kirsten. The song is literally about him and his friend, Joel stalking Kirsten Dunst while she was in Gothenburg filming Melancholia. Too cool to be true.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

behind the craze, there is a pretty sunset

She can paint a lovely picture but this picture has a twist. Her paintbrush is a razor and her canvas is her wrist. She paints her pretty picture in a color that’s blood red. While using her sharp paintbrush, she ends up finally dead. Her pretty pictures fading quite slowly on her arm. The blood is not racing through her. She can no longer do harm. She painted her pretty picture but her picture had a twist. You see, her mind was the razor and her heart was just her wrist.
- Anonymous


No, I am not suicidal. I just find it beautiful. Okay, maybe I am a bit sad. That's it though.

Current location: Arctic (air- conditioning, you know?)
Current mood: amused
Current music: O Children- Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds




Monday, December 12, 2011

an endless journey to an undying memory

Pick ten musicians that you love before reading the questions.

1. Arcade Fire
2. MGMT
3. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
4. Stars
5. Khottal
6. James Morrison
7. M83
8. John Mayer
9. Answer Sheet
10. Bo Amir Iqram

# the list wasn't compiled in order of favoritism. Just the first few names that pops up.

what was the first song you heard by 6?
You Give Me Something.

what’s your favourite song by 8?
Who Says because who says I can't get stoned/ plan a trip to Japan alone/ did it matter if I go/ who says I can't get stoned?

what impact has 1 had on your life?
Wake Up never fails to make me cry because it's so beautiful. Especially when they perform it live and the whole crowd just goes with them. Also the lyrics to Wake Up just gives me a reality check on growing up.

Children, don't grow up/ our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.

what are your favourite lyrics by 5?
I want to be the thing you can't afford to lose from YMFT because being one's favourite thing is easy but being one's most cherished thing is hard.

what is your favorite song by 7?
Midnight City! It's relatively new but it's my favourite. And the tune! Oh, love.

Waiting in a car/ waiting for the right time/ waiting for a ride in the dark.

is there any song by 4 that you find sad?
Dead Hearts. Maybe because of Like Crazy (it was the song at the ending of the movie which made it very heartbreaking) or maybe because I could relate.

what’s your favorite song by 3?
Heart in Your Heartbreak. It was catchy and the play in words are so cute.

She was the heart in your heartbreak/ the miss in your mistake/ and no matter what you take/ you're never gonna forget.

when did you first get into 3?
sometime back in 2009. I was reading Nylon while surfing the net. The reviews were rave. I decided to check them out. Never regretted that moment.

how did you get into 9?
Youtube. I watched their take on one of hellogoodbye's song using the ukulele. Then, I downloaded their EP. Stay, Leave made me fall ridiculously in love with them.

how many times have you seen 8 live?
Sadly, I never have. Oh John Mayer, why you no come Malaysia?

what’s a good memory concerning 9?
A boy I knew liked them too. He promised to take me somewhere because this is the place where I'm going to/ a place, I'll take you, Sadranan beach of Jogjakarta.

is there a song by 10 that makes you sad?
Yes and if anyone heard his album, Gemini, they would be sad too. But there's a song that hits home more than the rest. It would be You Learnt, the last track.

It's great to be carefree/ so many things left to be said/ at thousand promises to be kept

what’s your favorite song by 1?
Wake Up or Rococo. Wake Up when I'm sad and Rococo when I'm buzzy. I could go Rococorococorococo all day long.

Current location: oh, Borneo. Dear, Borneo
Current mood: I miss my friends :/
Current mood: Bo Amir Iqram/ Bedroom Sanctuary- Cheers 2007

p/s Recommendation of the day: the View by Bedroom Sanctuary or the whole album actually. He's awesome.