Intellectual, my ass hahaha. When I mentioned on my previous that I would be writing more because I have more thoughts now that I'm twenty, I must have forgotten that I also have a final exam looming. Note to self, 4th May 2015 is not really too far from here. However, this wild appearance of second post do men that the occurrence of a blogpost has increased from once a year to more than that, heh. Anyway, what is it that is so important (or not important at all. Seeing as to how much I ramble here, this is probably of little importance) that it deserves more space than a Facebook post. Yea yea yea, I post stuff on Facebook now, whatever. That aside, the one thing that has been bugging me is solitude. Of course, it has bugged me in the sense of I just need to talk on and on and on about it (or type... in this case).
sol·i·tude
ˈsäləˌt(y)o͞od/
noun
- the state or situation of being alone."she savored her few hours of freedom and solitude"
synonyms: loneliness, solitariness, isolation, seclusion, sequestration, withdrawal,privacy, peace
"she savored her solitude"
.
It's interesting to see how easily the example is she and not a he. Just interesting... I have no comments on that whatsoever. Are girls more lonely than boys? I don't know. Seriously, I don't.
Anyway, what's up with solitude, right? Well, the hizzle on the shizzle is... solitude is freaking awesome. Like, I totally savor solitude. You know, like the example. The state of being alone is amazing but it is pretty awkward (for me, at least) when I'm alone but I'm surrounded with people I know. Situations like that will inevitably lead me to wonder if people think I'm such a loser for being alone (honestly, I love being alone). Looking back, I can understand where this stems. It came from the countless "Sorang je?" I had throughout my life. Like a girl can't be alone for no reason at all?! Also, I don't think that this is a gender- associated problem but I can't really speak on behalf of the guys since I hardly know what they feel/ think.
Reasons why I love being alone:
1. I get to do whatever I want, however I want, whenever I want.
Case in point: Let's say I go to a festival alone, I get to see all the shows I want without considering what my companions what to do, eat whatever the hell I want (some people don't like sushi...) and come, I get to take photos of whatever whenever whereever and go whenever I want (sometimes I want to be super early, sometimes I just don't want to rush). The cons, however, are pretty taxing on a bubbly soul like me (meh, bubbly ke?!). I get bored really quickly which will turn me into a really clingy texter, I don't get to have my photos taken (okaylah, this is because I'm too shy to ask people) and sometimes life is too dangerous for a young girl to be alone.
2. I don't have to be considerate
Not that I am selfish but it is nice to not have to think of others (I swear these points are/ will be redundant, dammit). My car, my playlist, my volume. This probably stems from the fact that my playlist is the most unfriendly playlist in the whole wide world. To find a musical soulmate is like finding hay in a needle stack (please excuse my Saw reference) but on the other hand, once there is a person that loves the same things as you do (music, film, books, leisure activities), the feeling's amazing because you don't have to be considerate but it's because what you want is what the other person wants too.
3. The indescribable feeling of solitude
My favourite kind of solitude is the solitude that enables you to play music from the speakers. For me, a perfect night is the kind of rainy night (that isn't humid, oh my god, I swear all rainy nights in this country are humid) that forces you to pull on a sweater and you dim the lights, plays music from the speakers and read. Or watch a movie that makes you cry like Marley and Me kind of tears, not Nicholas Sparks tears (which I almost never get, like what is so sad?!).
Or the kind of solitude you experience when you see streetlights at night.
So, solitude. Sometimes, I associate solitude with music as in some music I just can't listen when there's people around. Most probably because my lips will curve into a strange, satisfactory smile that makes no sense to people around me (they'll probably think I'm crazy).
Anyway, here's my solitude playlist. Cheers!
Current Location: "college"
Current Mood: hungry?!?!?
Current Music: The Venopian Solitude- Khilaf Ratna
Current Music: The Venopian Solitude- Khilaf Ratna
